Today started with a 2½ hour dentist appointment. Then I drove to the airport to catch a plane to Charlotte. Then I dashed the entire lengths of the E and C concourses to just make my connecting flight to Miami. Miami has a BIG airport. We came in to gate J10, so the first thing I saw when I walked into the airport was the gate across the way: J9. Thanks, Jeanneane. Then I went down, collected my luggage and headed for the rental cars. Signs everywhere pointed out the Mia Mover, up two floors. It turns out you walk about half a mile on intermittent slidewalks to get to the actual Mia Mover tram. The rental car agency didn't have the car I had reserved, but a Suzuki. Erf. Work probably won't pay for an upgrade. It should be waiting for me in space B45. I find a row for B1-B40 but no B45. Eventually I realize B45 has been tacked on the end of the row, but the sign wasn't updated. It turns out the Suzuki didn't have gas in the tank. So I got back and beat them into switching cars for me, scoring a Ford Focus. Then I head out to the hotel. The address lands me in a seedy industrial neighborhood, where most of the buildings are for sale. No sign of the hotel. I call them, and get directed to a recording telling me to just go up 82nd Ave NW and it's on the left. 3655. Hmm, there's a 3650, then a 3725, then a 3680. No hotel. I call the hotel again and finally manage to get a person, who explains the hotel is actually behind an office building. I go back there, and the lot out front is packed. The lot on the side is packed too. I loop around and around, finally parking a couple of blocks away at an abandoned industrial building. Then I realize I haven't eaten since breakfast, so I punch Steak 'n Shake into my GPS and head back out. Turns out that Steak 'n Shake is now a seafood place. Feh. I go back to the hotel and park back at the industrial building a couple of blocks away. I drag my luggage back to the hotel, and choose to go around to the right, as there's a crowd of smokers to the left. It turns out there's not a way around to the right, so I ended up dragging my luggage over a bunch of grass to get to the door. The lobby is full of flight crews in matching red blazers. Finally all of them get done at registration and I go up, only to be informed there aren't any rooms. They've put me up at a fancy place across town. Said fancy place involves lots of twisty little roads, forking incessantly. I finally find a spot that looks likely and explain to the valet that I think this is where I'm supposed to be. He says no, I need to be back at the first hotel. I explain I WAS there, they send me elsewhere, which may well be here. He tells me to go inside and ask. The folks inside explain that I only have one night at the new place, then I'll check out and spend the rest of my stay back at the first hotel. Great. They give me a map of the property and pick out "Lodge 10" as where I'm staying. There's no parking near Lodge 10, as most of the resort guests apparently use valet parking. I finally choose a spot that seems like it might be nearby. This time, I leave my luggage in my car while I figure out where I'm supposed to be going. I end up in a courtyard between Lodge 9 and Lodge 10, and the only unlocked door is marked "meeting rooms". I go in, and find a young couple as lost and confused as I am. I wend my way around the bowels of Lodge 9, discovering it holds the 900 series rooms. I'm in 142, which is probably NOT Lodge 10, unless there's no Lodge 1. I pull out the map and see that there is a Lodge 1, way around on the other side of the ballroom. So I head around that way and eventually find it. I take the elevator up, and try my key. Sure enough, it works. So I hike back, around the other side of the ballroom complex, to see how the parking lot is laid out. Once I get back to the car, I retrace my steps, and park by the corner of the ballroom, so I only have to haul my luggage around that, the physical plant, another lodge, and some plantings to get back to my room. The room reeks of floral perfume. It's after midnight. I still haven't eaten.